When last we left off, we were taking an exam to determine whether or not we are real alcoholics. Among the things learned were, if a person can stop drinking on their own for a certain period of time, they are not an alcoholic:
This person….can also stop or moderate, although they may find it difficult and troublesome and may even need medical attention. Have you found a sufficient reason to quit and has that reason kept you sober or clean? *Note: If you can answer “YES” to this question, you are NOT an alcoholic or addict!
This brings us to Dave C., an AA and participant over at the Friends of Bill forum. Dave, who has been diligently working the steps, but has yet to have his own white light experience, asks:
“I have been wondering this for some time. I had a spiritual awakening, followed by a relapse 2 months later, followed by a 14 year dry drunk, got heavily involved in meetings and the steps and quiet times and can honestly say I havent [sic] felt my makers presence, but have had plenty of improved periods of perspective I’d call it, but no contact with H.P. Has anyone here had a long period of dry drunk after a relapse and had another spiritual awakening? I’d love to hear about it. I could use some advice in this.”
The most obvious piece of advice to me would be for him to take some belladonna. The second bit of advice should have been that he is not really an alcoholic, since he was able to quit on his own for fourteen years. Of course, that is not how it really works. In AA, if you can quit on your own for any period of time, you were never really an alcoholic. Unless, of course, if you come back to AA, in which case you were a ‘dry drunk’. Does this make sense? Of course it doesn’t. It is just another piece of circular logic one is subjected to when entering the rooms of AA.
“I have to say I had a few experiences that were VERY questionable, but the one that took the cake was taking a sponsee through a fifth step. She shared she was afraid to go back to meetings because she had shown up very drunk for a meeting, shared that she needed a safe ride home and was taken home by an “old timer” and fucked.
Months later, he sat on sex and dating panels at our young people’s conference. His friends knew what he was doing and never called him out. People nodded when he spoke in meetings and told him he was so insightful. And he was full of shit.
I’m now about 9 months into AA “deprogramming” and have completely flipped my life. Lost friends, new social scene, new habits – It’s shitty, but I’m finally being genuine. I can love myself, question what people tell me, and know that I never was an alcoholic.”
– “Skye”, former AA and reader of this blog, commenting on an article about predators in AA
Hey kids! Get out your freshly sharpened no.2s and put on your thinking caps, because it’s time for the Stinkin’ Thinkin’ Pop Quiz!
Here are your instructions: Read over the passages below (redacted for anonymity – these edited parts will appear as “[…]”) and then answer the question underneath. Post your answers in the comments, and feel free to show your work. Googling does not count as work; it counts as cheating. When everyone puts their pencils down, I will post the answers, the full quotes, and the links so that you can verify the answers for yourselves. There will be a potty break in an hour. Continue reading Stinkin' Thinkin' Pop Quiz
I don’t know about you, but if drinking panther piss was among the conditions for me to get felony drug charges dropped, I would slam it down without batting an eyelash. I would also eat bugs, dance naked, sleep with Roseanne Barr, sky dive or walk on glass – if that happens to be what it takes to stay out of the slammer. Threatening a person with prison time is a sure fire way to get them to do just about anything. Alcoholics Anonymous has a policy of “attraction, not promotion”, and one way of attracting new members is to offer up a single, unpalatable alternative: prison. This is what the good folks in Fremont, Nebraska are doing. It is part of their court’s new drug program:
“Participants in the drug court program must attend three Alcoholics Anonymous and Narcotics Anonymous meetings a week, maintain a sponsor and work at least 25 hours a week or perform community service, among other requirements….”
Of course AA is cooperating with court by signing attendance cards, force feeding meetings and dogma down the throats of these court ordered participants, and assigning a one-on-one sponsor, who no doubt offer up an even worse alternative than prison if a person decides to leave AA once their mandate is fulfilled: death. Make someone a captive – any dogma – and there is a great chance they will swallow whatever dogma is put in from of them, eventually believing whatever they were told. After all, this is the same technique that convinced Patricia Hearst to rob a bank.
Of course, this belief in the dogma won’t help these addicts get off of the sauce, and what we’ll have left are addicts and alkies who believed they failed the program because of their lack of character, or because they didn’t fully work the program, or some of the many other ridiculous AA excuses which point the finger of shame directly toward the individual. If these guys believe meth addiction is hell, wait until they tack on the mental mind fuck of a few months inside of a 12-step program.
As the years progress, a small minority of graduates of this program will go on to sober up, and will be held up as a shining example of what this court ordered 12-step program can do to a person who “truly follows the path”. The chances are good there will be a follow-up puff piece focusing on one of these individuals who recovered from the brink of death, and the ninety-percent plus who fail at sobriety are ignored – all with the cooperation of the local AA group who have convinced themselves that none of this is promotion.
The primary objective of the 12-steps is not to rid people of their drinking addictions. Drinking abstinence is simply a consequence of an an overall character change. This is not a surprise to those of us familiar with the AA program, and even those who work the steps and happily profess the virtues of AA will say the same thing. AAs believe that alcoholism is a result of a spiritual weakness, which is a result of character flaws, which are largely the result of ego and self absorption – and working the steps will rid us of these character weaknesses, one of which is alcoholism.
The only way of achieving sobriety through AA is for a person to admit his or her powerlessness over alcohol. It is the first step, after all, and any AA – even those who don’t work all of the steps – will say that the first step is essential. Powerlessness of the individual is the cornerstone on which AA and the 12-step program is built, and it achieves this belief among its members in a number of ways. Continue reading Tearing Down The Ego In Alcoholics Anonymous
“In the 12 steps that I have read, it talks about giving things out of our control over to God as we understand him. That could be God, Bhudda, Vishnu, Mohammed, Mother Nature or your favourite rock star!”
— Lily, AA zealot
Came to believe that Mick Jagger ourselves could restore us to sanity.
Admitted to Iggy Pop, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
Were entirely ready to have Meat Loaf remove all these defects of character.
Humbly asked Billy Idol to remove our shortcomings.
Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with Axl Rose, praying only for knowledge of Axl’s will for us and the power to carry that out.
I would love for an AA to explain to me how Billy Idol will remove my shortcomings and answer my prayers. How does it work? Will he call me once he receives my prayer?
This is a conversation about 13th stepping with the good folks who belong to the “Friends of Bill W” group. Some of these guys would even make our friend, McGowdog, blush. Here is the original post:
ok guys, we’re having a going away party for one of our dear friends who is moving forward on his path. one of the events we’re having at the part is 13 Step Twister. i would love it if you guys can share some of the best 13 step pick up lines you’ve heard over the years. remember cheezy is always good when it comes to pick up lines.
example…….i loved what you had to say at the podium, want to get some coffee?
Pretty cool, huh? I wonder if they played 13th Step Twister over at the Midtown group. Here are some of the fun responses. Tell me if you are impressed, ladies:
” Wanna come to my place and read the big book?”
“Let me help myself to your bottom.”
“Allow me to get you on your back – before you get on your feet”
“Let’s be of service to each other: You gotta give it up to keep it.””
“You can’t get drunk with a cock in yr mouth”
“I’m right behind you – I’ll guide you until you’re filled with a spiritual experience. Sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly.”
“that hoop you have to jump through is not the only thing that is bigger than you think”
“They told me to get a service position – I like servicing newcomers, are you game?”
“‘That is a great shirt. Want to know what I call that color? Clitoral pink’. Yes indeedy, whispered in my ear by a 100 year old jerk who preyed on us at the in house rehab meeting.”
It makes sense that these folks refer to themselves as “Friends of Bill W”, because they emulate him so well. He claimed to be pious, but was in reality a womanizing scumbag who banged anything that moved. He even gave part of his estate away to his mistress. I guess these guys just learned by example. This attitude permeates AA, and is really scary considering some of the scoundrels who get sentenced to AA. Any social deviant who pleads the “I am an alcoholic and can’t help it” excuse, is very likely going to be sentenced to AA. What makes this more sickening, is these are the same folks who shove serenity prayers and sanctimonious quotes littered with God references down the throats of anyone who will listen.
Trust me on this one: If you were to call these guys out on this nonsense, the finger would be pointed at you in some way such as “stop taking other people’s inventory”. Or like is described in this post. It is all part of the giant mind fuck that is AA.
Some of you may not have seen the episode of Bullshit with Penn & Teller, where they call “bullshit” on AA and 12-Step programs. This is an entertaining show. It is broken down into three parts. Enjoy!:
Parts II and III: Continue reading Penn & Teller on 12-Step Programs