Posts tagged alcoholics

Meet Francine Stone: Freedom House Secretary

I know, I know…you can’t get enough of our ongoing series on Freedom House in Kalispell, Montana – and since we are here to placate our target audience of serenityless resentillians, we figured, “what the hell, let’s meet the Freedom House board of directors!”

Today, we’re profiling Francine Stone, aka inmate #3003107. She bears a striking resemblance to Weird Al Yankovic after three-day drunk, with the only discernible difference being the tattoo of a pit bull that Francine has on her left shoulder. Her hobbies include meditating, serenity searching, and obstructing justice. Currently a resident of Montana, Francine has also lived in California, where she was also in trouble with the law. Hey, let’s play a game! Whatcha think she was busted for in Oakland? I’ll send out a complimentary amends letter for anyone guesses correctly.

In another development, Randall Marr was sprung from the big house last night. I hope he doesn’t celebrate by tying one on. I hear he’s an angry drunk.