Posts tagged AA quiz

Are You a Blue Button Monkey Junkie?

[From “Heavens Gate” in our comment section]

“…People have a natural need to be accepted, more so when they’re in a disadvantaged state. Much like a laboratory monkey pressing two buttons, the red one which gives a shock, and the blue one that gives a banana, quickly learns to press the blue button exclusively. The smart monkey figures out how to open the cage and leave the situation. All the other monkeys, (ie. those who “get it”), become blue button monkey junkies and are destined for a lifetime of ashtray, basket, and coffee pot servitude. People are easily manipulated….”

Are You A Blue Button Monkey Junkie?


1. Did you have sex with your sponsor because he told you it would keep you sober?

2. Did you “get it”, and if so, can you explain it in a way a rational person can understand it?

3. Can you produce one piece of scientific evidence to support your belief that AA works, and if not, are you right now rationalizing your belief system to be true despite having no validation.

4. Did you hit your knees this morning only to find the dog had shit right next to your bed?

5. Is there a picture of Clancy I taped on the inside of your underwear?

6. Do you constantly tell people they are not working a good program, are not really sober, yet you are 14 months behind on your child support payments?

7. Do you neglect your duties as a parent to attend an AA meeting?

8. Do you really believe that being your sponsor’s pro bono gardener is keeping you sober?

9. Do you autonomically blurt out AA slogans and rhetoric?

10. Did you stop taking your medication because someone who could not even procure gainful employment at the local porno store told you to?