Archive for the Just for fun Category

Guess The Troll

OK, kiddos. It’s time to put those brain cells you’ve managed to retain to use. Yesterday, we received a comment that got caught in our troll trap, under the name “Banjomansband.” Rather than let it sluice through, we thought it would be fun to make a contest of it, in a “Guess the Troll” contest. [Hint: It’s someone we know and lub.]

It’s not enough to just guess the name. Please show your work. Entrants are judged by use of logic, wit and deliciousness; with bonus points awarded to whoever can explain to us the actual point this guy is trying to make:

“We have check the link out MA and find it ridiculous. Why you would want to print such rubbish is beyond us.
Yes it is several people having a say here. A couple of us post on JREF’s this is where we first heard of you. You post under a another name, why, are you hiding something.
Seems you keep pulling this disgusting stunt every time he posts on a site you or ftg posted on.
It seems he doesn’t like you and what you stand for so he takes the fight to you directly, what a concept. You folks do it here everyday. You jump into blogs, sites, newspapers ect…pull out what you want and post it here including people faces. You did this with Alfie, right. So when it is done to you, you fight back dirty.
Now your after Alfie to look at this link, well we suggest he does, please get it over with. Anything to stop you from soapboxing this link.
We don’t know this guy really and probably won’t but it seems low down that you would pull this shit and call yourselves respectable.
Grow Up!”

Good Luck!

The Daily Chuckle

Today’s daily chuckle comes from Dick B., who has taken a break from lecturing others on “contempt prior to investigation,” in order to pronounce his contempt for those sites listed in our blogroll — all of which he has labeled “anti-AA.” Included on the list is: LifeRing, SMART Recovery and ‘The Big Book’ Online:

Dick B’s Blog

“…Sometimes we have been inclined to ignore the nasty remarks But we believed that “Stinkin Thinkin”–a site whose title perhaps epitomizes its approach–has assembled the list below, indicating those listed are supportive of the negative approaches. And here they are–a lengthy list of those who have beefs against A.A. whether their remarks are supported, supportable, or without support….”

I think Dick has tapped a little too deeply into his Belladonna supply.

Are You a Blue Button Monkey Junkie?

[From “Heavens Gate” in our comment section]

“…People have a natural need to be accepted, more so when they’re in a disadvantaged state. Much like a laboratory monkey pressing two buttons, the red one which gives a shock, and the blue one that gives a banana, quickly learns to press the blue button exclusively. The smart monkey figures out how to open the cage and leave the situation. All the other monkeys, (ie. those who “get it”), become blue button monkey junkies and are destined for a lifetime of ashtray, basket, and coffee pot servitude. People are easily manipulated….”

Are You A Blue Button Monkey Junkie?


1. Did you have sex with your sponsor because he told you it would keep you sober?

2. Did you “get it”, and if so, can you explain it in a way a rational person can understand it?

3. Can you produce one piece of scientific evidence to support your belief that AA works, and if not, are you right now rationalizing your belief system to be true despite having no validation.

4. Did you hit your knees this morning only to find the dog had shit right next to your bed?

5. Is there a picture of Clancy I taped on the inside of your underwear?

6. Do you constantly tell people they are not working a good program, are not really sober, yet you are 14 months behind on your child support payments?

7. Do you neglect your duties as a parent to attend an AA meeting?

8. Do you really believe that being your sponsor’s pro bono gardener is keeping you sober?

9. Do you autonomically blurt out AA slogans and rhetoric?

10. Did you stop taking your medication because someone who could not even procure gainful employment at the local porno store told you to?

Here’s Your Stinkin’ Quiz

A couple of days ago, FTG posted a link to a quiz which is suppose to diagnose a potential drinking problem. I thought that it would be interesting to take those same questions, and apply them to AA itself. Take the test and see how you fare(d):

Do you lose time from work to attend AA meetings?

Are you taking advantage of the Americans With Disabilities Act in order to force your employer to accommodate your meeting quota?

Is AA making your home life unhappy?

Have you been told that AA is your “new family”? Are you being told that your spouse/partner does not understand you, because he/she is not an alcoholic? Is your spouse/partner encouraged to join Al-Anon, where they have been diagnosed as a “co-dependent”?

Do you attend AA to better relate to “sober people”?

Are you hesitant about discussing your drinking issues with friends, family, counselors?

Is AA affecting your reputation?

Are you afraid your employer, neighbors or other acquaintances will learn you attend Alcoholics Anonymous? Do you hide this fact because you believe they will look down on you? Do you only use your first name in AA, so nobody will know that you are a member? Continue reading Here’s Your Stinkin’ Quiz

Super Bowl Predictions

Packers 23, Steelers 16

So it is written, so it shall be.

The Rotary Club Challenge

A common response we get from AAs after we highlight the daily rundown of felonies and abuse among them that happened to hit the newswires, is that that all organizations, in every walk of life, have bad apples. Today it was pointed out, after I updated the story about the AA who slashed the throat of a New York cabbie, that we are painting all AAs with the same brush. Of course, the actual reason we posted this was to point out the fact that an obviously deluded and emotionally unstable person, was subjected to 12-Step psychobabble instead of getting of real treatment.

Still, I understand the point that we may simply be picking out the few rapists, pedophiles and other types of felons; in an overwhelmingly serene and benign fellowship. So I thought that I would compare AA to another large fellowship and service organization: Rotary International. There are 1.3 million Rotary members, in 33,000 Rotary Clubs in the World, with a diverse membership representing people from all walks of life.

Today we are issuing the “Rotary Club challenge.” Do some research, and see how many pedophiles and rapists you find, who also happen to be members of the local Rotary Club. How many shootings and stabbings at Rotary meetings have been reported in the last five or ten years? How many of these people use the work they do for the local Rotary as an get-out-of-jail-free card? How many fellow Rotary members are showing up as character references at court hearings, saying such things as, “He has turned his life around, and is active in the local Rotary Club.” See if you can find two people who met at a Rotary Club, and took off on a stealing or killing spree. Compare these numbers against what we find daily in AA.

I would guess that if JD is right, and we are unfairly picking his club by highlighting the few bad seeds, then there would be a comparable amount in an organization the size of Rotary International. This should be an interesting experiment.

I Got Nuthin’

I promised FTG that I would hold the fort while she is busy “trimming her tree,” or  ho-ho-hoing, or decking her halls with gay apparel, or whatever she does to entertain herself during the Christmas season – and I have failed miserably. I’m just jolly as all get-out, and I can’t find it in me to even think about those 12-step knuckleheads. So, with that in mind, enjoy this yuletide classic from SNL while I try and get my AA-bashing act back together again:

Pick A New Name For Freedom House

In the latest update on the continuing saga of Freedom House, the slumshack in Kalispell, Montana that is running under the guise of a rehab facility; the powers in charge have decided to take the name away. It also appears that the last group of felons in charge of the place are no longer involved in the day-to-day operations. This shouldn’t come as too much of shock, as it is difficult to run a hell hole like this from jail, which is where former board President, Randall Marr, has been rotting for the past couple of months.

I’ve no doubt that the landlords and Bill Hawk, the current resident in charge, are trolling the rooms of the local AA chapters to find suitable replacements. The last board, which consisted of a hooker, a thief and a pedophile – is a going to be a tough act to follow.

The first thing the new board will have to do is pick a new name this cuckoo’s nest. I thought that we might be able to help them out with a few suggestions of our own. Any thoughts?

The Serenity Dance

Here is a little dancin’ Billy to put you kids in an up mood. Happy Sunday!

Bill W’s Serenity Dance

Amends

It’s kinda naughty, so don’t watch it at work — unless you bandy the word “vagina” around at the office. Anyway, this is the perfect answer to anyone who wonders why the 9th step tends to creep people out: