Archive for the D’oh! Category

No Matter Where You Go, There You Are

Earlier today, I was returning home the back way, a seldom-traveled, narrow, lightly-populated road. I came around a curve and saw a tractor mower laying on its top, with the top half of a person visible. I stopped and ran over, and discovered the person was conscious, but pinned beneath the tractor. I was able to lift it off him long enough for him to pull himself out. I checked him for injuries, and other than being banged up and out of breath from his struggle to free himself, he was not too much the worse for wear.

He told me he had been pinned for what he thought was ten or fifteen minutes, and had been screaming for his partner who was working on another part of the property. The partner was operating a weed blower, and thus was unable to hear the shouts for help. I drove over and got him, told him what had happened, and we both returned to the man who had been pinned. Three of us were barely able to lift the tractor, but we did manage to right it.

The pinned man was understandably grateful for my assistance, and was beside himself thanking me for finding and helping him. His partner, who I did not recognize, was also quick to offer his thanks. Shaking my hand, he then asked, “Hey, aren’t you Mike B. from the AA meetings? I only attended a few times, but I sure remember you.”

Anonymity: Doin’ It Wrong

So, these jerks own a property upon which an apartment building burned down. Since, they have refused to clean the mess, and now everyone in town has been using this lot as a dumping ground:

Surprisingly, this mess has absolutely nothing to do with AA or Recovery Landlords. However, there is a sober living facility next door. When they interviewed the manager of this facility, she refused to divulge her full name:

The lot is next to a recently spiffed-up apartment complex that offers affordable housing to recovering alcohol and drug abusers. They can live there, at low rent, only if they remain clean and sober.

Janet, an Alcoholics Anonymous member who wants to retain her anonymity by using only her first name, manages the complex. She sees another new exhibit next door every day. Pickup trucks back up to the pile and leave behind behind sofas, mattresses, appliances and often bags full of trash. Someone tagged one of the sofas.

One day, she noticed a big-screen TV “with the remote sitting on top.” She’s seen people burrow beneath the rubble to the subfloor foundation and use a cutting torch to steal copper and other metals. When workers came in to put a new roof on a neighboring complex, they dumped the old roof remnants onto the pile, she said.

Psst, Janet, now everyone who reads the Modesto Bee knows you’re an AA member.


h/t Sally