Archive for the Crock of Shit Category

Sharing a name with a saint didn’t help him – The Update

Smitty counseled teens to keep them off drugs, but his own experience convinced them that they would relapse. He thought he might make the revolving door work more efficiently by selling them the drugs himself. Interestingly, his defense attorney claimed that he wasn’t motivated by money, but by his own “powerlessness.”

The story is here (http://www.seattlepi.com/local/article/Seattle-Schools-drug-counselor-coach-faces-969319.php)

Putting the ‘Nut’ into Nutley

Looks like an AA got hold of the editorial section of the Nutley paper, and is serving up a heaping helping of rigorous honesty™. In defending the assclowns from AA who are causing havoc in the neighborhood, this AApologist explains that what they are seeing isn’t what they are seeing; and what happens in AA doesn’t happen in AA:

“Contrary to what some have reported regarding Alcoholics Anonymous at Holy Lutheran Church in Nutley, AA is neither a rehabilitation program nor a condition for parole.

According to its website, AA “is a voluntary, worldwide fellowship of men and women from all walks of life who meet together to attain and maintain sobriety. The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking.”

Nutley Editorial: Bashing of AA members is not the answer

Would some of you please go there and explain to this serenity sorcerer the exact nature of his/her wrongs, which in this case are the facts.

Quote of the Day

“…That a member here would pretend one thing in one place and something else in another indicates a lot about them, and how could you place your trust in anyone here when among all the braindead sheep is such a big bad wolf?”

Interesting to me the person has not stepped forward for these past days and given some lame excuse that you’d surely buy immediately, because it’s what you’d like to believe is so, and you couldn’t possibly be so entirely foolish as to put your trust in them as a fellow traveler…that’s not possible at all.”


– JD; aka “Mondotuna”; aka, “Jerry”; aka, “Cabledude”. An AA and troll on this blog, and apparently still a moderator at Lifering forum. Writing here in our comment section a few months ago.

“My Name is Kyle, and I’m an Alcoholic…Oh, and I also Burn Down Buildings.”

An AA near Chicago has talked his judge into allowing him to attend his AA meetings while he is out on bond awaiting trial. It just makes sense that since his character flaws include burglary and setting buildings on fire, he should be focusing in on dialing down his drinking:

Libertyville man charged in arsons may attend Alcoholics Anonymous Meetings

“Kowal is accused of setting four fires and burglarizing the Picnic Basket Restaurant on Milwaukee Avenue during the morning of March 24.

No one was injured in the fires, which broke out separately in residences in the 200 block of Homewood Drive at about 3 a.m. and then about an hour later in the 200 block of West Cook Street, fire officials have said. Both of those homes sustained significant damage, authorities have said.

The third and fourth fires occurred sometime during the overnight hours in two unsecured garages in the 200 block of Homewood Drive and the 300 block of Laurel Avenue, causing minor damage to those properties, authorities have said.

Drobinski alleged that Kowal has admitted in handwritten confessions to setting the fires. Residents, including children, were asleep in all of the homes at the times the fires occurred, he said.”

I’m guessing his drink of choice was the “Flaming Moe.”

Study This

Back to the Toole Shed

In an update on Michael Toole, an AA and former federal judge who got caught taking bribes and evading his taxes (but in a rigorously honest way). His attorney is wanting to seal character reference letters written by his fellow AAs, from public view. Sadly, the judge agreed.

I personally don’t care to see the actual letters, as I know they contain the standard nonsense about how he has changed his life around over to AA, how serene he is now, and how AA God™ has magically rid him of the character defects that caused him to lie and cheat his way around in life. It’s the standard dogma, no doubt.

I would, however, like to see the names of those who gave the references. They are no doubt a colorful bunch of serenity seekers who found their way into AA in much the same way the good judge did – but now they somehow believe they are absolved from those things because they practice a new religion. It’s like a prisoner who has suddenly found Jesus, getting a character reference from his cellmate. It doesn’t mean a lot.

Attorney: Letters for Toole private

Rigorous Truth* in Duluth

A year and a half a ago, Julie Gronski was driving home drunk from a Halloween party, slammed into a couple of people walking along the side of the road, and took off. Her claim was that she thought she hit a deer, and didn’t feel the need to stop. This makes a hell-of-a-lotta sense because, who ever stops after hitting a deer to check on the condition of their car, or the welfare of the deer? I’m not sure what her excuse was for not reporting the accident for four days after sobering up, and for never turning herself in to police, only to get arrested for the hit-and-run after others tipped off the police.

Naturally, she managed to plea her way down to some community service and coerced membership into Alcoholics Anonymous. Earlier this week, Julie was cited for speeding on her way to an AA meeting, and also slapped with a charge of driving under a suspended license. In a fit of rigorous honesty™, she claimed ignorance to the fact that her license was suspended. Now she is using her involvement in AA, and the fact that she is now a sponsor who was simply shuttling her pigeons to and fro, as reason to cut her some slack. From her attorney:

He said Gronski was being a good Samaritan when she got a call saying that three people she knew needed a ride to their Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. She borrowed her father’s car and got pulled over by police for speeding.

“Her whole life now is doing community service,” Malban said. “She’s attending Alcoholics Anonymous meetings and sponsoring a couple of others in A.A. She does buses and gets rides everywhere. The only reason she was driving this time was to get others to A.A. She borrowed her father’s car. … They have to prove that violation of probation was an intentional and inexcusable act.”

So, if she was unaware that her license was suspended, why would she suddenly start taking the bus and get rides everywhere she goes (except of course, for this single altruistic carpooling act)? Her explanation doesn’t sound very honest to me; but it does sound rigorously honest™.

Duluth hit-and-run driver accused of speeding to AA meeting

* Rigorous Truth – akin to truthiness; the truth as seen through the lens of AA; kind of the truth.

The 12-Steps Inn: Where Brains Check In, But They Don’t Check Out

Martha sent us a link to this little gem from the 12-Steps Inn. God help us all….

Your Sponsor And Your Therapist.

Your sponsor isn’t all that interested in the reasons you drank.

Your therapist thinks your root problem is your lack of self-esteem, negative self-image, and your poor self- concept.
Your sponsor thinks your problem is a 3-letter word with no hyphens.

Your therapist wants you to pamper your ‘inner child.’
Your sponsor thinks it ought to be spanked.

Your therapist thinks your parents and others are to blame
Your sponsor thinks your inventory should be about you, not your parents.

Your therapist thinks you should confront your parents and others
Your sponsor tells you to make amends to them.

Your therapist wants you to find ‘closure.’
The only time your sponsor uses the word ‘closure’ is before the word ‘mouth.’

Your therapist thinks you should put up ‘boundaries.’
Your sponsor thinks ‘boundaries’ are things you need to take down.

Your therapist wants you to love yourself first.
Your sponsor wants you to love others first.

Your therapist prescribes care-taking and medication.
Your sponsor prescribes prayer making and meditation.

Your therapist wants you to learn ‘anger management skills.’
Your sponsor thinks ‘anger management skills’ are numbered 1,2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12.

Now that you haven’t had a drink in six months, your therapist thinks you should make a list of your goals and objectives for the next five years, starting with finishing up that college degree.
Your sponsor thinks you should start today by cleaning the coffee pots, helping him carry a heavy box of literature to the jail, and making your bed.

Your sponsor won’t lose his license to practice if he talks about God

3-Year Old Alkie

A three-year old in Britain has been clinically diagnosed as the country’s youngest alcoholic. No doubt because he/she is spiritually deficient, and full of anger and resentment. It will be interesting to see how this kid acts during a share session. I know that when I was three, I didn’t want to share anything.

3-year old child considered England’s youngest alcoholic…ever

Catholic Crazy

Here’s a good one from the looney bin of the Catholic Church. A diocese in Colorado has stepped away from dealing with their child molestation lawsuit settlements, and has put together a 12-Step program for their gay parishioners. This is an interesting spin on “attraction, not promotion.” First, convince these poor people that something is wrong with them, then put together a program to deal with that morally flawed, sinful behavior. Father Pantsoff would be proud.