Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you “Badass Billy” Macdowell:
I arrived at the doors of Alcoholics Anonymous at the age of twenty nine. It took me twenty years beyond, after five years, three years and a number of sporatic [sic] months of, what we in AA call, “dry drunks”, or, “white knuckled sobriety”, to understand and accept what was being suggested to me by the understanding and caring people of AA and what the spiritual program of AA would eventually do for me.
That being said, I will put to rest an old wives tale about the alcoholic in the simplest terms that anyone can understand. Have you ever heard, “that all the alcoholic has to do is use “will power” to stop drinking?” Well, let me ask you something very personal, “have you ever tried will power when you had a case of diarrhea?” Try it sometime! If it doesn’t work for diarrhea, it certainly will not help the alcoholic to stop drinking. Believe me!
This piece of literary brilliance is taken from Badass Billy’s drunkalog, where he goes on to write:
I had to turn my disease over to the care of the God of my understanding, totally surrender to the fact that alcohol conquered me, remove my self centerness [sic] (ego deflation in depth) and ask for guidance. That was never in me to do prior to my surrendering. It is because of that spiritual conversion, from the extreme depths of despair and desperation, drowning in the quicksand of insanity, that I was able to recover to become a productive and respected member of society. Without a Higher Power and the Twelve Step program of AA to guide me every step of the way, there was no way out of what is often referred to as… “self will run riot.”
Billy’s ego deflation and consequent sobriety was effective enough to allow him to self-publish an autobiography in which he declares himself “God’s linchpin.” In promoting it, he tells the world that he now lives “in a prestigious country club, overlooking the third hole on the golf course.” That certainly makes me want to buy his book. All of this may sound a little self-aggrandizing to you, but before he surrendered his ego, Billy was downright insufferable.
Aside from being God’s linchpin, Billy is an addictions counselor and self-appointed constitutional scholar. Convinced that prohibition wasn’t given a fair chance the first time, Billy has taken it upon himself to wage war against the alcoholic beverage industry. Here is a glimpse into his legal strategy, which sounds a lot like something Oliver Wendell Holmes might write if he had been chewing on a belladonna plant at the time:
The important emphasis and concept that must be addressed over and over is that this litigation pertains primarily to the loss of the alcoholic’s spiritual being, subject to the disease of alcoholism. The alcoholic is not the “ordinary consumer!” Once the alcoholic steps over the threshold or invisible line of being the ordinary consumer to becoming the alcoholic, that individual loses his/her choice as to whether or not to drink the addictive drug/poison, ethyl alcohol. Therefore losing the title of the ordinary consumer which every lawsuit filed against the alcohol beverage industry depends on for a victory. Each time a manufacturer, vendor or bartender sells their product to an alcoholic, they violate the alcoholic’s Constitutional Bill of Rights. The alcoholic has lost his/her “SPIRITUAL BEING.” To be specific, the alcoholic’s Freedom of Religion has been stolen, and the alcoholic has lost his/her freedom of choice.. The alcoholic’s free exercise of his/her religion is being prohibited by the law Congress has mandated making the drug/poison, ethyl alcohol legal. Therefore, the alcoholic’s Constitutional First Amendment has been violated without consent. The judiciary further crucifies, and makes culpable the alcoholic by using and accusing that the alcoholic is “the ordinary consumer” with “common knowledge of the product he/she is drinking.” Thus, aligning the alcoholic, who is a very sick person with the disease of alcoholism, with the “normal individual.” Therefore, any complaint brought forward by the alcoholic, not precluding the innocent victim who has been damaged by the beverage alcohol, via the alcoholic, or “normal individual” any right to be awarded the relief deserved on the merits that alcohol was the cause of the plaintiff’s complaint.
I found Billy through the evildoers at Modern Drunkard, who gave Badass Billy his nickname, and against whom Billy had declared war and put up this website with the purpose of taking them down. Go get ’em, Billy! Below is a link to a must read email dialog between Billy and Frank Rich, the editor of Modern Drunkard:
I could elaborate further, but this shit just writes itself. Enjoy!