Stinkin' Thinkin'

I have placed my order and look forward to stting a new trend in the Kings' Road London!

What would be really nice with the bumper stickers is if you could apply the same checkered pattern and colors that the pro-12 step stickers have (don't know if there are copyright issues with that). Would be cool to catch a steppist driving behind me off guard.

How about " I would rather be a dry drunk than an anonymous alcoholic"

Just plain, singular AWESOMENESS.

fantastic! How about, "Take the Miracle and Run."

Oh this is great!! Really, bvery funny. Your T-shirts and mugs made me immediately think of a very funny site called Despair Inc (just Google this), with its "Demotivators" and other anti-positive thinking stuff. Check it out:

Introducing Demotivators®

MOTIVATION. Psychology tells us that motivation- true, lasting motivation- can only come from within. Common sense tells us it can't be manufactured or productized. So how is it that a multi-billion dollar industry thrives through the sale of motivational commodities and services? Because, in our world of instant gratification, people desperately want to believe that there are simple solutions to complex problems. And when desperation has disposable income, market opportunities abound.

AT DESPAIR, INC., we believe motivational products create unrealistic expectations, raising hopes only to dash them. That's why we created our soul-crushingly depressing Demotivators® designs, so you can skip the delusions that motivational products induce and head straight for the disappointments that follow!

E.L. Kersten, Ph.D.

Founder and COO

ACCOMPLISHMENTS

You can fool all of the people all of the time if your effects budget is large enough.

ACHIEVEMENT

You can do anything you set your mind to when you have vision, determination, and an endless supply of expendable labor.

ACQUISITION

The discovery that you're no longer a big fish in a small pond, or even a small fish in a big pond, but a small fish in a big fish.

ADVERSITY

That which does not kill me postpones the inevitable.

AGONY

Not all pain is gain.

AMBITION

The journey of a thousand miles sometimes ends very, very badly

APATHY

If we don't take care of the customer,maybe they'll stop bugging us.

ARROGANCE

The best leaders inspire by example. When that's not an option, brute intimidation works pretty well, too.

BAILOUTS

From each according to his ability,

to each according to his lack thereof.

BEAUTY

If you're attractive enough on the outside, people will forgive you for being irritating to the core.

BITTERNESS

Never be afraid to share your dreams with the world, because there's nothing the world loves more than the taste of really sweet dreams.

BLAME

The secret to success is knowing who to blame for your failures.

BLOGGING

Never before have so many people with so little to say said so much to so few.

BURNOUT

Attitudes are contagious. Mine might kill you.

CHALLENGES

I expected times like this – but I never thought they'd be so bad, so long, and so frequent.

CHANGE

Politicians are like diapers. They need to be changed often and for the same reason.

CHANGE (winds)

When the winds of change blow hard enough, the most trivial of things can become deadly projectiles.

CLUELESSNESS

There are no stupid questions, but there are a LOT of inquisitive idiots.

COMPROMISE

Let's agree to respect each others views, no matter how wrong yours may be.

CONFORMITY

When people are free to do as they please, they usually imitate each other.

CONGRESS

Proudly defending the status quo long after the quo has lost its status.

CONSISTENCY

It's only a virtue if you're not a screwup.

CONSULTING

If you're not a part of the solution, there's good money to be made in prolonging the problem.

CORRUPTION

I want either less corruption or more opportunity to participate in it.

CREATIVITY

Helps artists die young, miserable, and penniless- so their art can have meaning to the old, satisfied, and obscenely rich.

CURIOSITY

Some Places Remain Unknown Because No One Has Ventured Forth. Others Remain So Because No One Has Ever Come Back.

CUSTOMER DISSERVICE

Because we're not satisfied until you're not satisfied.

CUSTOMER CARE

If we really cared for the customer we'd send them somewhere better.

DARE TO SLACK

When birds fly in the right formation, they need only exert half the effort. Even in nature, teamwork results in collective laziness.

DEFEAT

For every winner, there are dozens of losers. Odds are you're one of them.

DELUSIONS

There is no greater joy than soaring high on the wings of your dreams, except maybe the joy of watching a dreamer who has nowhere to land but in the ocean of reality.

DEMOTIVATION

Sometimes the best solution to morale problems is just to fire all of the unhappy people.

DESPAIR

It's always darkest just before it goes pitch black.

DESTINY

You were meant for me. Perhaps as a punishment.

DISCOVERY

A company that will go to the ends of the Earth for its people will find it can hire them for about 10% of the cost of Americans.

DISLOYALTY

There comes a time when every team must learn to make individual sacrifices.

DISSERVICE

It takes months to find a customer, but only seconds to lose one… the good news is that we should run out of them in no time.

DIVERSITY

Because every person deserves an equal chance to prove their incompetence.

DO IT LATER

The early worm is for the birds.

DOUBT

In the battle between you and the world, bet on the world.

DREAMS

Dreams are like rainbows. Only idiots chase them.

DYSFUNCTION

The only consistent feature in all of your dissatisfying relationships is you.

ECONOMICS

The science of explaining tomorrow why the predictions you made yesterday didn't come true today.

EFFORT

Hard work never killed anybody, but it is illegal in some places.

ELITISM

It's lonely at the top, but it's comforting to look down upon everyone at the bottom.

EXCUSES

If you keep asking others to give you the benefit of the doubt, they'll eventually start to doubt your benefit.

FAILURE

When your best just isn't good enough.

FEAR

Until you have the courage to lose sight of the shore, you will not know the terror of being forever lost at sea.

FLATTERY

If you want to get to the top, prepare to kiss a lot of the bottom.

FREEDOM

I may not agree with what you say, but I respect your right to be punished for it.

FUTILITY

You'll always miss 100% of the shots you don't take, and, statistically speaking, 99% of the shots you do.

GET TO WORK

You aren't being paid to believe in the power of your dreams.

GIVE UP

At some point, hanging in there just makes you look like an even bigger loser.

GOALS

It's best to avoid standing directly between a competitive jerk and his goals.

GOVERNMENT

If you think the problems we create are bad, just wait until you see our solutions.

HAZARDS

There is an island of opportunity in the middle of every difficulty. Miss that, though, and you're pretty much doomed.

HOPE

May not be warranted at this point.

HUMILIATION

The harder you try, the dumber you look.

IDIOCY

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

IGNORANCE

It's amazing how much easier it is for a team to work together when no one has any idea where they're going.

INCOMPETENCE

When you earnestly believe you can compensate for a lack of skill by doubling your efforts, there's no end to what you can't do.

INDECISION

The mark of the leader is the ability to make decisions. The mark of the survivor is knowing when not to.

INDIFFERENCE

It takes 43 muscles to frown and 17 to smile, but it doesn't take any to just sit there with a dumb look on your face.

INDIVIDUALITY

Always remember that you are unique. Just like everybody else.

INEPTITUDE

If you can't learn to do something well, learn to enjoy doing it poorly.

INNOVATION

If it can make your job easier, it can probably make it irrelevant.

INSANITY

It's difficult to comprehend how insane some people can be. Especially when you're insane.

INSIGHT

When the going gets tough, the tough get going.

The smart left a long time ago.

INSPIRATION

Genius is 1 percent inspiration and 99% perspiration, which is why engineers sometimes smell really bad.

INTIMIDATION

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent, but you'd be a fool to withhold that from your superiors.

IRRESPONSIBILITY

No single raindrop believes it is to blame for the flood.

LAZINESS

Success is a journey, not a destination. So stop running.

LEADERS

Leaders are like eagles. We don't have either of them here.

LEGACY

It took millions of years to create something this extraordinary.

You have about seventy-four.

LIBERTY

The price of freedom keeps going up,

but the quality keeps deteriorating.

LIMITATIONS

Until you spread your wings, you'll have no idea how far you can walk.

LONELINESS

If you find yourself struggling with loneliness, you're not alone. And yet you are alone. So very alone.

LOSING

If at first you don't succeed, failure may be your style.

MADNESS

Madness does not always howl. Sometimes, it is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, "Hey, is there room in your head for one more?"

MARKETING

Because making it look good now is more important than providing adequate support later.

MEDIOCRITY

It takes a lot less time and most people won't notice the difference until it's too late.

MEETINGS

None of us is as dumb as all of us.

MISFORTUNE

While good fortune often eludes you, this kind never misses.

MISTAKES

It could be that the purpose of your life is only to serve as a warning to others.

MOTIVATION

If a pretty poster and a cute saying are all it takes to motivate you, you probably have a very easy job. The kind robots will be doing soon.

NEPOTISM

We promote family values here – almost as often as we promote family members.

OPPORTUNITY

I am Dr. Adewole Aremu- a director with the Union Bank of Nigeria in Lagos – and I wish to speak to you most urgently about a matter regarding the sum of $39,000,000 US Dollars…

OVERCONFIDENCE

Before you attempt to beat the odds, be sure you could survive the odds beating you.

PERSEVERANCE

The courage to ignore the obvious wisdom of turning back.

PERSISTENCE

It's over, man. Let her go.

PERSPECTIVE

Less is more. Unless you're standing next to the one with more.

Then less just looks pathetic.

PESSIMISM

Every dark cloud has a silver lining, but lightning kills hundreds of people each year who are trying to find it.

PLANNING

Much work remains to be done before we can announce our total failure to make any progress.

POSSIBILITIES

With focus, dedication and steroids, men can achieve impossible dreams. Like breaking a world record. Or growing their own breasts.

POTENTIAL

Not everyone gets to be an astronaut when they grow up.

POWER

Power corrupts. Absolute power corrupts absolutely. But it rocks absolutely, too.

PRESSURE

It can turn a lump of coal into a flawless diamond, or an average person into a perfect basketcase.

PRETENSION

The downside of being better than everyone else is that people tend to assume you're pretentious.

PRIORITIES

Hundreds of years from now, it will not matter what my bank account was, the sort of house I lived in, or the kind of car I drove… But the world may be different because I did something so bafflingly crazy that my ruins become a tourist attraction.

PROBLEMS

No matter how great and destructive your problems may seem now, remember, you've probably only seen the tip of them.

PROCRASTINATION

Hard work often pays off after time, but laziness always pays off now.

PROPAGANDA

What lies behind us and lies before us are small matters compared to what lies right to our faces.

QUALITY

The race for quality has no finish line- so technically, it's more like a death march.

RECOGNITION

Having your moment in the sun isn't always a good thing.

RECOVERY

Time heals all wounds. But it usually leaves a pretty big scar.

REGRET

It hurts to admit when you make mistakes – but when they're big enough, the pain only lasts a second.

RETIREMENT

Because you've given so much of yourself to the company that you don't have anything left we can use.

RISKS

If you never try anything new, you'll miss out on many of life's great disappointments.

ROMANCE

Love is in the air. And it's pooping on my head.

SACRIFICE

Your role may be thankless, but if you're willing to give it your all, you just might bring success to those who outlast you.

SACRIFICE

All we ask here is that you give us your heart.

SANITY

Minds are like parachutes. Just because you've lost yours doesn't mean you can borrow mine.

THE SECRET OF SUCCESS

What is The Secret? Pretend you've already achieved it- Then offer to sell The Secret to others.

SELF-ESTEEM

Just because you think you're a star doesn't mean you're going anywhere.

SERVICE

View all customers as beautiful buds that must be cultivated, watered, and periodically buried under manure.

STRIFE

As long as we have each other, we'll never run out of problems.

STUPIDITY

Quitters never win, winners never quit, but those who never win AND never quit are idiots.

SUCCESS

Some people dream of success, while other people live to crush those dreams.

SURVIVAL

The less you stand out, the longer you'll last.

SYNERGY

A code word lazy people use when they want you to do all the work.

TEAMWORK

A few harmless flakes working together can unleash an avalanche of destruction.

TRADITION

Just because you've always done it that way doesn't mean it's not incredibly stupid.

TRANQUILITY

As long as there are children in the world, there will never be any real peace.

TROUBLE

Luck can't last a lifetime unless you die young.

UNDERACHIEVEMENT

The tallest blade of grass is the first to be cut by the lawnmower.

VICTORY

Winners never fly higher than when they're bouncing up and down on the egos of those they defeat.

VISION

How can the future be so hard to predict when all of my worst fears keep coming true?

WEALTH

All I ask is for a chance to prove that money can't buy happiness.

WHINING

If you expect to score points by whining, join a European soccer team.

WINNERS

Because nothing says "you're a loser" more than owning a motivational poster about being a winner.

WISHES

When you wish upon a falling star, your dreams can come true. Unless it's really a meteorite hurtling to the Earth which will destroy all life. Then you're pretty much hosed no matter what you wish for. Unless it's death by meteor.

WORTH

Just because you're necessary doesn't mean you're important.

Order Toll Free at 877-Despair|Customer Disservice|FAQ|Privacy Policy|Contact Us

Close

ftg: your ass, your house, your everything. :0)

I'll buy a totebag.

While we are on the subject of humor, I'd like to recommend a very funny, profound, and very serious book (and subsequent film) called "Trainspotting" that I have been reading with great delight these days. It's about the lives of some young heroin addicts in Scotland 20 years ago. Because I myself have never touched the stuff, I was kinda surprised I could relate so much to the lives and experiences of some of the characters. The book is like a liberating mirror of myself. Warning though: it's pretty scatological in places, so, if you have a problem with human bodily fluids, not to mention random shagging, swearing, and nihilistic violence,and Scottish english, maybe you should avoid the book. If you hang with it though, you will be rewarded with tears and laughter. Here are some excerpts from the book and movie:

Your continued donations keep Wikiquote running! Trainspotting

From Wikiquote

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For quotations from the novel, see Irvine Welsh.

Trainspotting is a 1996 film about a group of heroin addicts living and growing up in Edinburgh.

Directed by Danny Boyle and based on a novel of the same name written by Irvine Welsh.

Contents [hide]

1 Renton

2 Allison

3 Begbie

4 Tommy

5 Diane

6 Dialogue

7 Taglines

8 Cast

9 See Also

10 External links

[edit] Renton

Choose life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family. Choose a fucking big television, Choose washing machines, cars, compact disc players, and electrical tin can openers. Choose good health, low cholesterol and dental insurance. Choose fixed-interest mortgage repayments. Choose a starter home. Choose your friends. Choose leisure wear and matching luggage. Choose a three piece suite on hire purchase in a range of fucking fabrics. Choose DIY and wondering who the fuck you are on a Sunday morning. Choose sitting on that couch watching mind-numbing spirit-crushing game shows, stuffing fucking junk food into your mouth. Choose rotting away at the end of it all, pissing your last in a miserable home, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, fucked-up brats you have spawned to replace yourself. Choose your future. Choose life . . . But why would I want to do a thing like that? I chose not to choose life: I chose something else. And the reasons? There are no reasons. Who needs reasons when you've got heroin?

People think it's all about misery and desperation and death and all that shite, which is not to be ignored. But what they forget is the pleasure of it. Otherwise we wouldn't do it. After all, we're not fucking stupid. At least, we're not that fucking stupid. Take the best orgasm you ever had, multiply it by a thousand and you're still nowhere near it. When you're on junk you have only one worry: scoring. When you're off it you are suddenly obliged to worry about all sorts of other shite. Got no money: can't get pissed. Got money: drinking too much. Can't get a bird: no chance of a ride. Got a bird: too much hassle. You have to worry about bills, about food, about some football team that never fucking wins, about human relationships and all the things that really don't matter when you've got a sincere and truthful junk habit.

[explaining the gaps in his employment history] Yes, I can. The truth — well, the truth is that I've had a long-standing problem with heroin addiction. I've been known to sniff it, smoke it, swallow it, stick it up my arse and inject it into my veins. I've been trying to combat this addiction, but unless you count social security scams and shoplifting, I haven't had a regular job in years. I feel it's important to mention this.

Young Renton noticed the haste with which the successful in the sexual sphere, as in all others, segregated themselves from the failures.

It's SHITE being Scottish! We're the lowest of the low, the scum of the fucking earth, the most wretched, miserable, servile, pathetic trash that was ever shat into civilization. Some people hate the English, I don't. They're just wankers. We, on the other hand, are colonized by wankers. We can't even find a decent culture to be colonized by. We are ruled by effete arseholes. It's a shite state of affairs to be in, Tommy! And all the fresh air in the world won't make any fucking difference!

At, or around this time, Spud, Sick Boy and I made a healthy, informed, democratic decision to get back on heroin as soon as possible.

There was no such thing as society and even if there was, I most certainly had nothing to do with it. (Himself quoting Margaret Thatcher, from Women's Own magazine, October 31 1987.)

We called him Mother Superior on account of the length of his habit. Of course I'd have another shot. After all, I had work to do.

Begbie didn't do drugs either. He just did people. That's what he got off on; his own sensory addiction.

Heroin makes you constipated. The heroin from my last hit was fading, and the suppositories had yet to melt. [moans loudly, doubles over] I'm no longer constipated.

Swanney taught us to adore and respect the National Health Service, for it was the source of much of our gear. We stole drugs. We stole prescriptions or bought them, sold them, swapped them, forged them, photocopied them. Or traded drugs with cancer victims, alcoholics, old-age pensioners, AIDS patients, epileptics, and bored housewives.

Thank you, your honor. With God's help I'll conquer this terrible affliction.

I fantasize about a massive, pristine convenience. Brilliant gold taps, virginal white marble, a seat carved from ebony, a cistern full of Chanel Number 5, and a flunky handing me pieces of raw silk toilet roll. But under the circumstances I'll settle for anywhere.

[after having sex with Diane] I haven't felt that good since Archie Gemmill scored against Holland in 1978.

One thousand years from now there'll be no guys and no girls, just wankers. Sounds great to me. It's just a pity no-one told Begbie.

The downside of coming off junk was I knew I would need to mix with my friends again in a state of full consciousness. It was awful. They reminded me so much of myself, I could hardly bear to look at them. Take Sick Boy, for instance. He came off junk at the same time as me — not because he wanted to, you understand, but just to annoy me. Just to show me how easily he could do it, thereby downgrading my own struggle. Sneaky fucker, don't you think?

Living like this, is a full-time business.

It seems, however, I really am the luckiest guy in the world. Several years of addiction right in the middle of an epidemic, surrounded by the living dead. But not me. I'm negative. It's official. And once the pain goes away, that's when the real battle starts. Depression, boredom . . . You feel so fucking low, you want to fucking top yourself.

This was to be my final hit. But let´s be clear about this. There are final hits and final hits. What kind was this to be?

Now I've justified this to myself in all sorts of ways. It wasn't a big deal, just a minor betrayal. Or we'd outgrown each other, you know, that sort of thing. But let's face it, I ripped them off – my so called mates. But Begbie, I couldn't give a shite about him. And Sick Boy, well, he'd of done the same to me, if he'd only thought of it first. And Spud, well okay, I felt sorry for Spud – he never hurt anybody. So why did I do it? I could offer a million answers – all false. The truth is that I'm a bad person. But, that's gonna change – I'm going to change. This is the last of that sort of thing. Now I'm cleaning up and I'm moving on, going straight and choosing life. I'm looking forward to it already. I'm gonna be just like you. The job, the family, the fucking big television. The washing machine, the car, the compact disc and electric tin opener, good health, low cholesterol, dental insurance, mortgage, starter home, leisure wear, luggage, three piece suite, DIY, game shows, junk food, children, walks in the park, nine to five, good at golf, washing the car, choice of sweaters, family Christmas, indexed pension, tax exemption, clearing gutters, getting by, looking ahead to the day you die.

[edit] Allison

[after taking heroin] It beats any meat injection. That beats any fucking cock in the world.

[weeping] Give us a shot Rents. I really need a hit.

[edit] Begbie

[after throwing a glass onto a woman's head] Nobody move! That lassie got glassed, and no cunt leaves here till we find out what cunt did it!

[appears in Renton's hallucination] Well, this is a good fucking laugh, ain't it? You sweat that shite out of your system. 'Cause if I come back and it's still here… I'll fucking kick it out. Okay? [grins at Renton]

[while pointing the gun replica at Renton] Armed robbery? With a replica? I mean, how the fuck can it be an armed robbery with a fucking replica!? [clicks the gun twice]

[watching a horse race on T.V.] Come on, son! Come on, son! Come on! Come on..! YEA-A-A-AH!! YEA-A-A-AH!! BA-A-A-A-AD BO-O-O-O-OY!!

It was fucking obvious that fucking cunt was gonna fuck some cunt.

[edit] Tommy

[appears in Renton's hallucination] Better than sex, Rents. Better than sex. The ultimate hit. I'm a fucking adult, I can find out for myself. Well, I'm finding out all right.

[edit] Diane

[voice over] Dear Mark, I'm glad you found a job and somewhere to live. School is fine at the moment. I'm not pregnant, but thanks for asking. You friend Sick Boy came and asked me if you'd like to work for for him, but I told him where to go. I met Spud, who sends his regards, or at least that's what he said. No one has seen Tommy for ages, and finally, Francis Begbie has been on television a lot this week, as he is wanted by the police in connection with an armed robbery in a jeweler's in Corstorphine. Take care, yours with love, Diane.

[edit] Dialogue

Mark: Gonna get it right this time. Gonna get it sorted out, get off it for good.

Swanney: I've heard that one before.

Mark: The Sick Boy method. [looks at Sick Boy, unconscious on the floor]

Swanney: Well, it really worked for him, hey.

Mark: Well, he's always been lacking in moral fiber.

Swanney: He knows a lot about Sean Connery.

Mark: That's hardly a substitute.

——————————————————————————–

Diane: [as she sees Renton, Spud, and Sick Boy shoplifting] Hello there, Mark. What are you doing? You didn't tell me you were a thief.

Spud: [laughing] Hey, go easy, lady. The boy's got a habit to support.

Sick Boy: Opium doesn't just grow on trees, you know!

——————————————————————————–

Renton: Excuse me, excuse me. I don't mean to harass you, but I was very impressed with the capable and stylish manner in which you dealt with that situation.I was thinking to myself, now this girl's special.

Diane: Thanks.

Renton: What's your name?

Diane: Diane.

Renton: Where are you going, Diane?

Diane: I'm going home.

Renton: Where's that?

Diane: It's where I live

Renton: Great.

Diane: What?

Renton: I'll come back with you if you like, but I'm not promising anything.

Diane: Do you find that this approach usually works? Or, let me guess, you've never tried it before.In fact, you don't normally approach girls. Am I right? The truth is that you're a quiet, sensitive type…but, if I'm prepared ,to take a chance…I might just get to know the inner you: witty, adventurous, passionate, loving, loyal -Taxi! -A little bit crazy, a little bit bad. But, hey, don't us girls just love that?

Renton: Eh?

Diane: Well… what's wrong, boy? Cat got your tongue? [enters taxicab]

Renton: [confused] I left something…

Taxi Driver: You getting in or not, pal?

[Renton gets into taxicab]

——————————————————————————–

Sick Boy: It's certainly a phenomenon in all walks of life.

Renton: What do you mean?

Sick Boy: Well, at one time, you've got it, and then you lose it, and it's gone forever. All walks of life: George Best, for example. Had it, lost it. Or David Bowie, or Lou Reed.

Renton: Lou Reed, some of his solo stuff's not bad.

Sick Boy: No, it's not bad, but it's not great either. And in your heart you kind of know that although it sounds all right, it's actually just shite.

Renton: So who else?

Sick Boy: Charlie Nicholas, David Niven, Malcolm McLaren, Elvis Presley…

Renton: OK, OK, so what's the point you're trying to make?

Sick Boy: All I'm trying to do, Mark, is help you understand that The Name of the Rose is merely a blip on an otherwise uninterrupted downward trajectory.

Renton: What about The Untouchables?

Sick Boy: I don't rate that at all.

Renton: Despite the Academy Award?

Sick Boy: That means fuck all. It's a sympathy vote.

Renton: Right. So we all get old and then we can't hack it anymore. Is that it?

Sick Boy: Yeah.

Renton: That's your theory?

Sick Boy: Yeah. Beautifully fucking illustrated. [affects a Sean Connery accent] Do you see the beast? Have you got it in your sights?

Renton: [aiming the pellet gun at a dog] Clear enough, Miss Moneypenny! This should present no significant problems! [shoots the dog, which starts attacking its owner]

Sick Boy: For a vegetarian, Rents, you're a fuckin' evil shot!

——————————————————————————–

Begbie: Pop down the bookies and put a line on for us.

Renton: Can you not go yourself?

Begbie: Well, seeing as I´m a fugitive from the law, and I can´t even walk the fucking streets, you go! [grabs some small change and gives it to Mark] Doncaster. 4:40. 5 Pounds to win. Bad Boy. [sips some beer and spits it on the floor] Fucking buy some fucking beer and all.

——————————————————————————–

Begbie: Look, I'm not a fucking buftie, and that's the end of it!

Renton: Well, let's face it, it could've been wonderful.

Begbie: [growls with anger, flicks his cigarette at Renton; he holds him to the wall by the neck] Fucking listen to me, you piece of junkie shit. A joke's a fucking joke. You mention that again, and I'll cut you up! [he sticks the knife to the wall between Renton's legs] You understand?

——————————————————————————–

Begbie: Did you bring the cards?

Sick Boy: What?

Begbie: The cards, the last thing I told you was to mind the cards!

Sick Boy: Well, I've not brought them.

Begbie: It's fucking boring after a while without the cards.

Sick Boy: I'm sorry.

Begbie: Bit fucking late, like.

Sick Boy: Why didn't you bring them?

Begbie: 'CAUSE I FUCKING TOLD YOU TO BRING THEM, YOU DOSS CUNT!

Sick Boy: …Christ.

——————————————————————————–

[Begbie, Sick Boy, and Renton are having fish and chips]

Sick Boy: Good chips.

Renton: I can't believe you did that.

Sick Boy: I got a good price for it. Rents, I need the money.

Renton: IT WAS MY FUCKING TELLY!

Sick Boy: Christ, if I knew you were gonna get so humpty about it, I wouldn't have bothered. Fucking rented anyway. [looks at Renton's food] You gonna eat that? [takes a strip of fried fish] Have you got a passport?

Renton: Why?

Sick Boy: I met this bloke. Runs a hotel, a brothel. Loads of contacts. Does a nice sideline in punting British passports to foreigners. Get you a good price.

Renton:: And why would I want to sell my passport?

Sick Boy: [annoyed] It was just an idea.

——————————————————————————–

Renton: What's on the menu this evening, Sir?

Swanney: Your favorite dish.

Renton: Excellent.

Swanney: Your usual table, Sir.

Renton: Oh, why thank you.

Swanney: Would Sir care to pay for his bill in advance?

Renton: No. Stick it on my tab.

Swanney: Ah, regret to inform, sir, credit limit was reached and breached quite some time ago.

Renton: Oh, well in that case… [hands him some cash]

Swanney: Oh, hard currency, why, sir, that'll do nicely. Can't be too careful when we're dealing with your type, can we? Would sir care for a starter? Some garlic bread perhaps?

Renton: No, thank you. I'll proceed directly to the intravenous injection of hard drugs, please.

——————————————————————————–

Sick Boy: So he met me. I offered to take it off his hands at a very reasonable price with the intention of punting it off myself to a guy I know in London.

Renton: We've just come back from Tommy's funeral and you are talking about a skag deal?

Francis: Aye…

——————————————————————————–

[edit] Taglines

Choose life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family. Choose a fucking big television, Choose washing machines, cars, compact disc players, and electrical tin openers. Choose good health, low cholesterol and dental insurance. Choose fixed- interest mortgage repayments. Choose a starter home. Choose your friends. Choose leisure wear and matching luggage. Choose a three piece suite on hire purchase in a range of fucking fabrics. Choose DIY and wondering who you are on a Sunday morning. Choose sitting on that couch watching mind-numbing spirit-crushing game shows, stuffing fucking junk food into your mouth. Choose rotting away at the end of it all, pissing you last in a miserable home, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, fucked-up brats you have spawned to replace yourself. Choose your future. Choose life… But why would I want to do a thing like that?

Never let your friends tie you to the tracks.

[edit] Cast

Ewan McGregor – Renton

Ewen Bremner – Spud

Jonny Lee Miller – Sick Boy

Kevin McKidd – Tommy

Robert Carlyle – Begbie

Kelly Macdonald – Diane

Irvine Welsh – Mikey Forrester

[edit] See Also

Irvine Welsh

[edit] External links

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Trainspotting (film)Trainspotting quotes at the Internet Movie Database

Trainspotting at Rotten Tomatoes

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A couple of more suggestions…

Contempt After Investigation.

Terminally Unique.

night to all. and i kinda wanna get knocked up just so i can buy a onesie. super badass.

ftg, this is what I deal with on a daily! I work for a billion dollar retail company. Consumer data is encrypted at the point it is entered! We dont even know our customer data. but, that is the way of the world, its the way we we want it for their own good, and its also good for us! I kind of like ths model. I like that our customers tell us what they want,, we respond, then we get more feedback. its a true model of how to do a suuply and demand business.

these are all awesome. i need to at least get a bumpah stickah!

To the webmeister: the space here to write our comments is not working properly After writing a long paragraph, the whole text will skip back up to the top. Maybe I am not being clear…Anybody else have pwoblems…?

Marco